Just for Laughs contd..

“My father wants me to have everything he did not have when he was a boy”. 

“What didn’t he have?”

“All ‘"A’s" on his report card”.

***

Mother: “I sent my little boy for one kilo of plums and you only sent 800 grams.

Grocer: “My scales are all right, madam. Have you weighed your little boy?”

***

“Why do they call the language we speak our mother-tongue?” asked the son.

“Because fathers so seldom gets a chance to use it,” replied his dad.

***

The mother of many children lined up her family. “The one who obeys me immediately and does exactly as  he’s told without arguing will get a rupee at the end of the week.”
“It’s not fair,” said the youngest kid, bursting into tears. “Daddy’ll win easily.”

***


Judge: “The last time I saw you, I told you that I didn’t want to see you here again”.
Accused: “That is what I tried to tell these policemen, your Honour, but they would not believe me.”

***



“Hey,” the tourist said to the mountaineer, “Your son just threw a rock at me as I passed by.”
“Did it hit you?”
“No.”
“Then it wasn’t my son.”

***

Teacher : “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?”
Pupil: “Not a bit.”

***


Mother: ‘Why are you crying?’
Sally: ‘Because I fell and hurt myself.’
Mother: ‘When did that happen?’
Sally: ‘About twenty minutes ago.’
Mother: ‘But you’ve only just started crying.’
Sally: ‘I know. Earlier, I thought you’d gone out.’

***