Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, A Saint and a Schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting,
“This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.
Since I am a very important pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here.” Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane.
Sonia Gandhi said,”Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important
and have to live!”She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
Laloo Yadav said,”I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India
and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent
person must live!”Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area,
grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
The old saint said to the school boy,
“There is only one parachute left, and there are
two of us. I am an old man and don’t need to live any more. You take the last
parachute and jump.
“The school boy said,
“Don’t worry! There are still two
parachutes left with us! The most intelligent person,
Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag!”
******
Politics is the art of looking for trouble,finding it whether it exists or not, Diagnosing it incorrectly & applying the wrong remedy.
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A corrupt minister used to write “Not Approved” on all the papers that were sent to him by his assistants.
He always left a significant space between Not and Approved.
When the affected persons suitably greased his palms,
He would recall the file and just add an “e:”after Not so that it became “Note: Approved”.
This was the beginning of eBusiness in India.
******
Laloo wanted a special postage stamp issued with his picture on it. So, he instructed his people, stressing that it should be of international quality.
The stamps were duly released and Laloo was pleased. But within a few days of release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly,
and he became furious. He called the people responsible and ordered them to investigate the matter. They checked the matter out at several post offices,
and then reported the problem to Laloo. The report said, “There is nothing wrong with the quality of the stamp.The problem is people are spitting on the wrong side.”
******
Bill Gates -: Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo -: Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.
Gates -: Have you installed Windows at home?
Laloo -: I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.
Gates(Confused) -: Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo -: OPERATION ? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates(Sweating) -: Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo -: Oh Yes! Due to increased moquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.
Gates -: By the year 2002 India should export computer chips.
Laloo -: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates(Feeling very Uneasy) -: do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo -: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates(Sweating Heavily) -: The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo -: RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P.
Gates(Feeling Dizzy) -: I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo -: I have exhausted all my leave.
Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo -: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.
Gates-: (System Crashes and Found Missing). “Windows is restarting.Please wait………….”
******
Bill Clinton decided to ‘teach’ Laloo English, so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives in full grandeur.
Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the tuition. Inside the White House, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo English.
Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out. The whole country
and its economy have come to a standstill, and press, news reporters from all over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome.At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo – beaming his resplendent white smile, looking cool and unruffled.However, Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face.The shocked reporters ask Bill, “What happened Mr. Clinton?”
Bill replies -: “Ee babua hamri baat hi naahi sunat hai !”
******
