Husband Vs Wife

Behavior before and after marriage
If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
half the divorces won't take place..

On the other hand,

If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
half the marriages won't take place ;)


If u were my husband / wife
If you were my husband,
I would poison your coffee

If you were my wife
I would drink it.

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Wife said I'm dying
Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!

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Wife comes home late at night
Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.


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A line on a Husband's T shirt
A line written on a Husband's T shirt :
ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OF THEM..

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Wife wish 2 be a newspaper
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.

Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.

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A Special Package For Business Men.
An Airline Introduced
A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free

After Great Success,
The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply...

"Which Trip ?"

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Two Wise Advises for Married Peoples

Never laugh at your wife's choices...

(You are on of them...)

Never be Proud of Your Choices...

(Your Wife is one of them...)

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What's the similarity between chewing gum & begum(wife) ??

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Both are sweet at the beginning

and

become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the eNd...

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Habbit of talking in sleep

A Lady to Doctor:

My husband has d habit of talking in sleep! What should i give him to cure?

Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake

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